Wipe away a tear . . .

Because, after 82hrs, it's all over.

I'd read a load of internet jibberjabber about how incredibly nails Sin/Jecht are to destroy at the end of the game. One forum monkey noted that 'If you struggled to defeat Omega Weapon, you'd NEVER beat Sin!' Well, I did struggle to beat Omega, but after significant training in the Omega dungeon, and picking up the Magus Sisters and Anima, I bested him. (And was rewarded with a sniff of approval from Auron because apparently paying his voice actor to speak for another scene would just push the budget that bit too far)

So, I started getting antsy as I am wont to do and decided to have a crack at Jecht without further ado.

Jecht is a piece of piss. He may have the giantest giant sword ever to appear in FF (and that's saying a lot) but put the Magus Sisters on his ass and he breaks down like wet tissue. I forget sometimes that the majority of internet users and FF forum posters are 15yr olds who miss out on areas of gameplay like the fact that the more you fight with your Aeons the more badass they become.

So, Jecht is dead, Seymour comes back from the dead for about the millionth time, but this time he really dies, and then it's the ultimate showdown - the grandaddy, the puppet master, Yu Yevon! Only, Yu Yevon is lame, because the Aeons lend their power to the party providing unlimited AutoPhoenix, so it's something of a hollow victory. That said, I wept like someone stole my binky when Auron drifted off as Yuna sent him. And as if that wasn't enough, Tidus had to go and disappear as well! AND all the aeons! Goddammit FF! Why can't you just give me a happy ending?!

Anyway, I wanted to make sure that failing to defeat all the dark aeons had no bearing on the ending (it didn't) so I did an internet search, which turned up a hilarious forum argument:

http://www.the-magicbox.com/forums/showthread.php?t=92

So now I have to give myself carpal tunnel syndrome in both wrists playing Guitar Hero World Tour until I can afford X2. Damn you minimum wage, damn you to hell!

Back on the Airship

FFX - 52 hours in

The quest through Mt Gagazet is completed, the final temple, that of ancient Summoner, now Fayth (and Yuna's namesake) Yunalesca. Judging by the 'ancient puzzles' in Yunalesca's temple, she was the patron saint of Tetris.

The temple is the gateway to the ruins of Zanarkand, and beyond, the stomping grounds of Yunalesca herself. Along the way, the pyreflies give us glimpses of the past, and an inkling as to why Seymour was such a fucked up mess. If your Mum paraded around in a wrought iron bikini, and turned your Dad into the incarnation of Sin on Earth, it might leave you slightly mentally fragile too.

Here is that fateful scene re-enacted with ponies

Anyway, it's no big shocker that Yunalesca is actually an evil psychopath too, and after several increasingly ugly mutations, Yuna and the gang give her a good beating. That little squeaky voiced Fayth who pops up all over has a conflab with Yuna and Tidus about what they're going to do now, having killed off their only weapon against Sin. As the latest incarnation of Sin is Jecht, Tidus's Dad, they agree that they'll sing him his favourite hymn to lull him into a false sense of security, then stab him up good and proper.

All they need now is Cid's airship to nip them over to Sin's big ugly mush. Which also provides the opportunity to go back over Spira and tie up all the loose ends, such as that Summoner on Bikanel Island who kept killing me with her Ifrit, the evil ol' wench. I'm coming for you, lady!

Blitzball Wizard

Final Fantasy X - 20 hours in

I feel I owe Ropp an apology. Clearly last time I played I lacked the exceptional Blitzball coaching skills that I have since acquired. Tournament winners, I thank you very much, and with Ropp as one of my top players.

Things turn more serious with Sin attacking the Al-Bhed front-line on the beach. FF once again makes its stand against atomic weapons with a poignant scene of Al-Bhed soldiers shielding their faces as they are disentegrated to dust by Sin's death ray. Just like Weapon in VII, Sin is a metaphor for the horrors we bring upon ourselves through war and eco-damage.

And now to Seymour, another VII throwback, elbowing his way more centrally into the storyline. I don't remember what his deal is, but with the Sephiroth hair-do, creepily soft voice and abs up to his chin, he's got to be the bad guy, right? I don't trust these Guado folks either. Two hundred of them in the village and they've all got the same surname? That's inbreeding if you like. No wonder they've got shovels for hands and multi-coloured hair.

Best. Cosplay. Ever.

Where do I find this stuff?