I just couldn't help myself

I always say I will NOT use any game walkthroughs, cheat sheets or other interweb resources whenever I start a game and once I get to around the 70hrs of gameplay mark (as I have now) the void of stuff I'm missing starts to nag at me. It's worst when I find something by accident - stumbling across the first few cactuars for example. Then after searching Sanubia Desert for three hours to no avail, and even though I have the Baroque Sword with no encounters so I don't have to waste my time with any more fucking pathetic Alcyones I just can't bring myself to spend another second combing the blinding sands.

And a little voice starts saying; 'Look, it's not really CHEATING. You still have to actually do the game. It's just a time saving device.' And whereas to start with, I would have responded; 'No! That will result in a hollow and meaningless victory!' now I'm just thinking; "Yup, let's fire up Google."

What can I say? I'm weak.

Back on the Airship

FFX - 52 hours in

The quest through Mt Gagazet is completed, the final temple, that of ancient Summoner, now Fayth (and Yuna's namesake) Yunalesca. Judging by the 'ancient puzzles' in Yunalesca's temple, she was the patron saint of Tetris.

The temple is the gateway to the ruins of Zanarkand, and beyond, the stomping grounds of Yunalesca herself. Along the way, the pyreflies give us glimpses of the past, and an inkling as to why Seymour was such a fucked up mess. If your Mum paraded around in a wrought iron bikini, and turned your Dad into the incarnation of Sin on Earth, it might leave you slightly mentally fragile too.

Here is that fateful scene re-enacted with ponies

Anyway, it's no big shocker that Yunalesca is actually an evil psychopath too, and after several increasingly ugly mutations, Yuna and the gang give her a good beating. That little squeaky voiced Fayth who pops up all over has a conflab with Yuna and Tidus about what they're going to do now, having killed off their only weapon against Sin. As the latest incarnation of Sin is Jecht, Tidus's Dad, they agree that they'll sing him his favourite hymn to lull him into a false sense of security, then stab him up good and proper.

All they need now is Cid's airship to nip them over to Sin's big ugly mush. Which also provides the opportunity to go back over Spira and tie up all the loose ends, such as that Summoner on Bikanel Island who kept killing me with her Ifrit, the evil ol' wench. I'm coming for you, lady!

Suitably Out of Date News

Haven't played much lately, so instead, I feel inspired to discuss FFXIII. I know, I know, it's not even out yet, which is way off my brief, BUT the particular thing I want to mention has been kicking about on the internet for the best part of a year now, so I think it's a safe subject. And that is the welcome return of SUMMONS!

There's a new face, the incredibly cute (despite the name) Carbuncle, and a couple of old favourites, Ifrit and Shiva. And it's Shiva that really interests me. Ifrit has looked pretty much exactly the same in every game he's appeared in, and Shiva, though undergoing various changes, was always a pretty foxy blue lady. So at what point did
this happen:

How did she go from the flirty dreadlocked goddess of FFX to this bizzarre lovechild of a praying mantis and a Japanese motorcycle? You know who I blame? Michael Bay. Not content with pissing all over one cherished childhood memory, here he is influencing the bastardization of another. Damn you Bay for trying to make robots sexy, damn you to hell.

Dreaming of Zanarkand (A city-sized mindfuck)

After the excellent satisfaction of getting Seymour to flare himself to death (although I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of him yet) Tidus has a funny turn close to the summit of Gagazet Mountain.

The little squeaky Fayth who's been knocking around for a while now drops the metaphysical bombshell that Tidus, his father Jecht and Zanarkand don't actually exist, but are all the dreams of the slumbering Fayth. Paradoxically, they may be the only ones able to wake these God-like beings from their disturbed rest. But will this jeopardise their own existence?

Most people would have been reduced to a quivering wreck after hearing something like that, but Tidus is straight back on his feet and making quips about the enemy. So either Tidus has an iron backbone, or he's really fucking thick.

HEY YOU GUYS!